In music, it is bad form to be switching a lead singer mid-stream. Often, it's extenuating circumstances that leads to the swap, such as death, drugs or death due to drugs. But for every "Van Hagar" apologist, there is a laundry list of other failed roster moves....
- He might've been a "strange animal" but did we really need to hear Gowan belting out "Mr. Roboto" for Styx?
- Did anybody really need to see something called the Germs perform again, complete with an actor aping Darby Crash?
- ETC.
Sadly, it is inevitable that some of our favourite musicians will bung up the works. Goddam hedonists! So in a bit of a pre-emptive strike, here is a list of nine potential lead singer trade-ins that could be "interesting" if not "good".
Roxy Music => Replace Bryan Ferry with Jarvis Cocker from Pulp
Pulp were essentially an updated version of Roxy Music. So clearly, Jarvis Cocker was an updated version of Bryan Ferry, what with the drole lyrics, soulful yet spastic dance moves, prole upbringings masked in invented glamour and so on.
Unrelated, the first decade of Roxy Music should win some kind of award for being awesomely popular, critically adored and yet impossibly bizarre. Check out this frantic version of "Editions of You" for proof. It almost seems like a goof but is undeniably amazing at the same time. The pants alone are incredible.
KISS => Replace Gene Simmons with Rob Zombie
It's a bit dodgy for a man over 60 to be skulking around stage in grease paint, pretending to be a demon. Best we sub in a 40-something who would at least take a few less minutes to limbre up in the green room.
My Bloody Valentine => Replace Kevin Shields and Bilinda Butcher with Jason Pierce from Spiritualized/Spacemen 3 and Liz Fraser from the Cocteau Twins
Somebody needs to seize two decades of studio work from Kevin Shields and let Jason Pierce work out the kinks with some airy vocal assistance from Liz Fraser. This would actually be pretty wild. And probably underwhelming given the wait.
Flaming Lips => Replace Wayne Coyne with Tim DeLaughter from Tripping Daisy/Polyphonic Spree
It's a wonder that more people haven't called out Tim DeLaughter from aping not ONE but TWO versions of the Flaming Lips--first with his fuzzy guitar/squeaky vocal band Tripping Daisy during the 1990s and second with his fatalistic/densely orchestrated/squeeky vocal band the Polyphonic Spree in the 2000s. Seems like a decent enough guy but not bringing much to the table in terms of originality.
Wilco => Replace Jeff Tweedy with Steve Earle
From vocals to songwriting to pill relapses, management should maybe just put Wilco on autopilot from now on and do a bit of a job share thing between these two fellas who have both "done a lot of livin''. There is continuity.
Portishead => Replaceme Beth Gibbons with Antony Hergarty from Antony and the Johnsons
She didn't seem too interested in "doing" Portishead for the last decade so why not swap in the oddly versatile, oddly prolific Antony? Similar voice, albeit coming from a more supple face.
Gorillaz => Replace Damon Albarn with James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem
James Murphy has a bit of time now that he's mothballed LCD Soundsystem and certainly, he is every bit as connected as Damon Albarn is these days for those expected guest spots. Considering Snoop Dogg and Lou Reed both appeared on the last Gorillaz' full-length, it seems the project is going a bit Stateside anyway so why not hand Murphy the keys and put a real Eastern seaboard spin on the next chapter.
The Arcade Fire => Replace Win Butler from Conor Oberst from Bright Eyes
From widely divergent paths, Oberst has veered into Arcade Fire territory a few times recently; see "Clairaudients (Kill Or Be Killed)" or "Jejune Stars". I dunno. This somehow seems workable. Neither party is very animated and Oberst would add a few pudgy suburban teenagers to the fan base.
Arctic Monkeys => Replace Alex Turner with Carl Barat from the Libertines
Pretty sure the Monkeys have acknowledged a clear debt to the Libertines, in sound, attitude, etc. so this swap could be done seamless and hopefully, would stall any more sadly forgettable solo efforts. For the time being.
No comments:
Post a Comment