It was pretty jarring to learn that there was an actual TV program, built around footage of people using coupons at a local grocery store. Yes, I get that this isn't "couponing", it's "extreme couponing"!!! But still--it's pretty gnarly to think that something as banal as saving 30 cents deserves its own timeslot.
Therefore, The Reset Button would like to propose ten program concepts to the decision makers at TLC, Slice or anyone else that will listen--all no more or less mundane (... well, sometimes more) than a television program based on coupon redemption.
... Oh, and if anybody tries to lift any of these ideas, I will SUE yo' ass!!!
Crossing Guard Confidental
The life and times of a small town crossing guard (or "guards" as they call them in "the biz") in an unnamed Midwestern town. The series will address key issues such as accessorizing with fluorescent orange, the evolution of hand signals and the awkwardness of being a full-grown adult walking solo and having a crossing guard escort you through an empty intersection.
Dented
An inside look at discounted grocery items such as dented cans, expired medications and end-of-line SKUs. Includes some key quotes from grocery industry insiders ("Oh, those? Yeah, we just pile them in a broken shopping cart at the back of the store. We throw them out if they don't sell in about a month.") and various old people who like to rifle through the assortments in search of "treasures". The program also explores the indignation of writing the price directly on the packaging with a Sharpie pen, rather than a traditional price tag.
Bus Stop
A gritty examination of a local bus stop, unscripted and in your face. Some people listen to iPods, two ESL students quietly chat to themselves, somebody checks their watch. Captivating stuff.
24/7 Franks
We've all seen hot dog carts in Toronto that advertise themselves as 24/7. Were you ever curious to see who is patronizing these places between 6:00-10:00am? Now you can! Watch as new Canadians re-stock their coolers with soft drinks, stare aimless into nothing and fiddle with napkins. You'll also get an exclusive glimpse at the pivotal moment when our heroes decide to remove hour-old weiners from the upper grill and place them into the garbage.
Squirrel
A Wild Kingdom-style expose on the life of a squirrel in "the big city". While the sleeping scenes leave a lot to be desired, there is a fun episode where our furry friend contracts the mange. Narrated by James Earl Jones.
Confessions of a Blue Bin Sorter
Life moves fast for the guys and gals who get their mitts on our recyclables down at the sorting plant. You won't believe your eyes when you see some of the extreme items (styrafoam, blister packs, cloth) that end up on the assembly line. Early Emmy buzz for the engaging "So you think you can recycle linoleum?" episode.
Defrag Live
A engaging talk show that sees an everyday computer owner get their notebook defraged live in front of a studio audience. Join host John O'Hurley as he probes into the issues behind the defrag (Note: it's always some variation of "trying to free up disk space" or "removing unused programs"). To play up the technological theme, the announcer kicks things off with a rousing "Live from the Silicon Valley...".
The Off Season
In this gripping reality series geared at sports fans, producers look at what becomes of a local baseball diamond during the months of November through March. Oh, it might be covered with snow but that doesn't mean the action has the stop! Includes footage of people walking their dogs, office workers dining in their cars in the nearby parking lot and sporatic visits from local civic officials, keeping an eye on things.
Insole Asylum
A six-part docudrama about an everyman who gets insoles for his favourite pair of loafers. Watch as his posture improves slightly and he describes the act of putting on his shoes ("cushy") and taking off his shoes ("ooh, ah, ooh").
Change Jar
Pennies. Dimes. American pennies. You can find all these and much, much more in a change jar. Each episode will see a different Canadian flaunt their change jar, delving into the back story ("Been collecting since '04", "It's mainly pennies", "There's the odd button in there") with a degree of cadence and realism you don't see in most reality programming. The series will also attempt to answer the "Coin rolls: Friend or foe?" debate, with insight from some of the world's leading economists.
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